We've compiled a guide on how you can respectfully offer your condolences at a funeral or cemetery. For additional questions, please reach out to our staff.
Funeral Etiquette
What to Say and What Not to Say
What to Say and What Not to Say
If it's your first time seeing them since the death occurred, acknowledge the loss and offer your condolences. After that, always greet them kindly and ask them about their wellbeing. You don't have to be afriad to mention the deceased. They have not forgotten the loss and are often glad you have not forgotten someone so important. Take particular care not to attempt to explain why the death happened or "fix" with words what cannot be fixed. And avoid putting others' grief on your time table. These things, though well-meaning can often cause additional pain in those who are already hurting a great deal. It's ok to be honest and sincerely say, "I'm so sorry this happened. I wish I could make it go away, but I can't." It's ok to hug and say nothing at all. Many times just being there is enough.
What to Wear
What to Wear
Learn what the dress code is beforehand. Modern funerals are often more personalized and not everyone will want their guests to wear black. If there is no dress code assume that you should dress conservatively without bringing attention to yourself.
Religious and Ethnic Customs
Religious and Ethnic Customs
If the family has religious or ethnic customs different than your own, it is helpful to find out any special considerations before the service. You can ask us for advice and additional resources if you are unsure.
Paying Your Respects
Paying Your Respects
When there is an open-casket, it's customary to approach the deceased for viewing and pause for a moment of silence. If you are uncomfortable viewing the deceased, don't feel that you have to.
Giving Flowers and Gifts
Giving Flowers and Gifts
Typically, guests will send flowers, donate money, or give a memorial gift to the family of the deceased. Sometimes the family will make special requests depending on their situation.
Signing the Register Book
Signing the Register Book
Use your full name when signing the register book. It's also nice for the family if you add your relation to the deceased.
Avoid Cellphone Disruptions
Avoid Cellphone Disruptions
To avoid any disruptions, silence or turn off your phone before entering the funeral home.
Cemetery Etiquette
Follow the Cemetery’s Rules
Follow the Cemetery’s Rules
Follow any of the rules posted on the signs around the cemetery. This includes cemetery hours and flower restrictions. They are written to help all guests have a peaceful experience visiting their loved one.
Be Respectful of Other Mourners
Be Respectful of Other Mourners
Give everyone their space and privacy, especially if a funeral is happening.
Respect the Graves and Monuments
Respect the Graves and Monuments
Touching others' family headstones and monuments is generally discouraged as this can damage them. Families often leave items at a loved one's grave. Do not remove them. This includes flowers. Also, if you can, walk around graves and not directly on top of them.
Lower Your Voice
Lower Your Voice
Many mourners want quietness when they are visiting grave. Speak softly and quietly and have your phone silenced or off.
Keep the Cemetery Clean
Keep the Cemetery Clean
Never litter or leave behind your trash. Either deposit it in a garbage can or take it with you.
Look After Your Children
Look After Your Children
Keep your eye on your children when at a cemetery. Do not allow them to be loud or run around.
